XVII. The Star & Virgin Mary

Getting into herbalism, druidry, and vision work several years ago brought me back into connection with the green world and with my own inner magic, things I hadn’t felt since my childhood. Even more than that, journeying has restored passion in my walk of faith and introduced me to the Saints and Holy Ones of the Heavenly Kingdom.

Being raised Protestant, I had little affection for the Saints or Angels...for anyone besides Jesus, really. I value that distinction and it has stuck with me as an adult. Christ is my Lord and Savior. He’s my God and my King. He is the ultimate example of how humans should strive to live as Divine Children of Creator God. That being said, my mystical path has introduced me to many other helpful examples, as well, perhaps the most impactful being Mother Mary. 

A few months ago, the Blessed Virgin appeared to me in a striking shamanic vision:

I found myself standing naked in the muddy bed of a creek that cut through a vast moor. It was nighttime. Before me stood a soldier -- like a Roman Centurion -- guarding me as his prisoner. Although he wasn’t speaking, the domineering presence that he exuded kept me still and silent with my feet in the muck of the dried-up stream bed. 

Truth be told, although I felt small and powerless before this man, I didn’t want to leave. I felt safe in his oppressive shadow and the idea of trying to escape from him felt both impossible and unwanted.  

You see, for a long time I have battled with masochism and the urge to self-harm or self-sacrifice. It stems from a fascination with violence that began at a very young age. I have always been both intrigued and repulsed by it, and as an angsty teen it became my obsession to study, understand, and deal with all forms of pain, violence, and abuse. 

I asked myself questions. Why does this kind of darkness exist? Why does it seem to follow me? What can be done to stop it? Or rather, if I am to exist in this world that’s full of evil and oppression, how can I learn to endure it better? How can I become stronger in the face of trauma? (I’m a Virgo...Could you tell?) 

For the past two years, I’ve been working hard to shift my thinking about evil and start fighting it rather than simply learning to endure it, but that’s a huge feat for me. Time and time again, this thorn in my side keeps pulling me back into the comfort of the shadows that I’ve grown up with. 

Standing before this oppressor in my vision may have felt safe and familiar,  but it wasn’t where I was meant to be as a Daughter of the Divine. Suddenly, I heard a female voice from behind me speaking, saying, “When I count down to zero, you will turn around.” 

Instantly I was filled with dread. Turn around? Turn my back on evil? Turn away from the stifling darkness that I’ve spent my entire young life learning to abide and survive? I began to have anxiety at the prospect, but the voices wait for no one. She began the countdown. 

“Five.”  My heart was pounding out of my chest as I realized just how naked and vulnerable I really was in that moment. If I turned my back on him--  “Four.”  The soldier himself was changing, now, growing darker in countenance as the light began to grow behind my back.  “Three.”  A few anxious tears spilled down my cheeks and as they fell, the creek bed began to swell with fresh water.  “Two.”  The soldier was no familiar face. Not anymore. I looked at him in shock one last time and realized that this was a demon!  “One.” 

Deep breaths. No matter what happens it will all be over soon, I told myself. The water continued to rise and fill the stream beneath me as if by magic. And then she said, 

“Zero,” and I turned around. 

Silhouetted in the light of the moon was Mother Mary herself. All of my fear and anxiety melted away at the sight of her. I could still feel the dark presence of the demon lurking behind me, but before me was Mary, The Moon, and a sky full of Stars. 

What followed was a long clairaudient conversation in which Mary spoke to me about Jesus and His life on earth. She reminded me that suffering and darkness are a part of the living process, but she helped me understand that proper orientation is the key to integrating all of these lessons. 

“Keep the darkness behind you. Hold the Light in front of you,” she said. “Keep the Light inside of your heart and don’t let the darkness in, even when it’s all around you -- even if it feels like it’s covering you. Exist with it; don’t allow it to abide within you.” 

. . . . .

I didn’t realize until later that this vision was the literal embodiment of The Star energy in the tarot. I don’t own a Rider Waite Smith tarot deck, but that version of the card is by far the most well-known and it looks almost exactly like what I saw! A naked woman stands in a stream, a sky full of stars overhead. Some other versions of the card include the wreckage of The Tower burning in the background, bringing this idea of darkness & light existing at the same time all around us, and that we must choose to move forward into the life of light rather than endlessly dwelling on the ever present darkness. 

For many people, The Star is a beloved tarot card because it signifies a divine renewal. This card is full of hope and healing! But we can’t forget that darkness is still present here. It’s not an easy-breezy energy. Not only does The Star come after The Tower (total ego destruction,) but The Moon (a deeply uncertain time) is soon to follow.

After my vision, I couldn’t help but link the events of St. Mary’s life to these tarot themes. According to Catholic tradition, Mary’s birthday was September 8th, making her a Virgo as well. (Maybe that’s why it’s named “The Virgin.”) I can say from personal experience that if I was engaged to be married in a conservative society and was suddenly impregnated by Spirit, my Virgo brain would have a total breakdown! Virgo’s love to organize, understand, and control their lives in order to make the best of every situation. We pride ourselves on being responsibly prepared for every possible outcome, but I guarantee that she never saw that coming. 

Suddenly, Mary’s good girl reputation was gone, Joseph was planning to divorce her, and I can’t imagine that her family, friends, or the people in society believed or supported her. In an instant, the entire life that Mary had built for herself was falling apart. That’s big Tower energy, right there. 

She goes through her entire pregnancy like this. Eventually Joseph agrees to stick around after the angel comes to him in a dream, and Mary’s cousin Elizabeth gives her the support she desperately needs, but things remain tumultuous. The young couple has to journey all the way to Bethlehem where Mary ends up giving birth in a stable. (Uncomfortable traveling, unplanned lodging arrangements, and unsanitary medical conditions? A Virgo’s nightmare.) 

But then all of a sudden, the brightest Star to ever exist appears, attracting mystics from the East and calling angels down out of heaven to proclaim that Baby’s glory. That moment, that pause in the struggling, that is The Star: It’s the silent night before the stormy journey continues. It’s a moment of reassurance that God is with her and she’s on the right path even though it feels so hard. It’s the momentary breather before she enters Jesus’ long childhood pre-ministry, where she must second-guess their calling time and time again (The Moon.) And her story continues through the rest of the cards in the major arcana, as well. 

Think about what you know of Mary’s life story. Read through the Gospels if you need a refresher, and remember that her story is deeply intertwined with Jesus’ mission. How does her life experience move through the energy of The Sun, Judgement, and The World tarot cards? Can you find other typical Virgo traits in Mary’s behavior? There are a few specific verses that mention her in ways I really relate to from that perspective. 

. . . . . .

I love the simple artwork of the Modern Seer Tarot deck. Her expression perfectly captures that blend of exhaustion and hopefulness that we feel in the energy of The Star. Whenever you pull this card, remember the encouragement Mary offered in my vision: “Keep the darkness behind you. Keep the Light inside of your heart and don’t let the darkness in, even when it’s all around you -- even if it feels like it’s covering you." Just keep following The Star through the long tunnel ahead. You are on the right path. This is the promise of The Star. 

As you continue on your journey into the astrological New Year, I want to encourage you to start viewing tarot cards in these deeper ways. Don’t rely so much on the lists of bullet point meanings that you can find online (or even at the end of this article.) Instead, meditate on how the energy of the card relates to your life, the lives of the Masters, your journey, astrology, and more. Connect the cards to the Saints and stories of old. This is how you elevate your readings and find the deeper meaning behind Spirit’s messages. 

XVII. The Star

• Sandwiched between The Tower & The Moon, The Star is the nervous system healer of the tarot. 
• The north star of guidance signaling better things are ahead. We are on the other side of ego death. 
• Healing and hopeful energy comes when you are in an extremely vulnerable place. (We are exposed, naked, but clean following the fires of The Tower.)  
• A guiding light has appeared and now we happily journey forward. There is no need to rush. 
• My tarot teacher, Laurel Flynn, says that The Star is like Mary Poppins. This energy shows up and she will stick around until we are healed and whole. 
• In the energy of The Star, we get the first glimpse of our true purpose in this life. Now we begin finding our place in the world. 

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