The Art of Balance

Recognizing Imbalance

Perhaps the most critical piece of wisdom that I have learned in the past 5 years is the importance of balance.

I was raised in a rural, white, Christian community outside of Buffalo, NY. My husband was raised in an extremely urban, Chinese American, agnostic / Eastern Spiritualist community in Brooklyn, NY.
In many ways, we could not have been any more opposite when we first met. The first few years of our relationship taught us so many things, like compromise and acceptance, deeply expressive communication and open-handed tolerance, and even the ability to seriously examine our individually held worldviews. And in those years of re-examination, we discovered the key: Balance.

A wisewoman once explained the nature of humanity to me in the following terms: Human beings are made up of three distinct parts--the body, the mind or the emotions, and the soul.

"When a person has a sickness in their physical body," she explained, "they take medicines that heal them on a chemical level. When a person has a sickness in the brain or in their emotional body, they take medicines that help them on an electrical level. And when a person has an illness of the soul, well...then they must take medicines that operate on a vibrational level."

Whether those terms are metaphorical or literal, her talk gave me the ability to identify these three distinct parts of the human experience. Ever since then, I have slowly shifted my thinking to recognize these three parts within myself and others on a daily basis.

My husband, for example, is what some might call a health nut. He is constantly working out and eating right. He can often be found researching new trends in nutrition studies, and he geeks out over every new physical wellness opportunity around. (We have bounced around from cryotherapy, float tanks, MMA gyms, bikram yoga, and circuit training over the past few months.) But mentally, he is an overthinker who struggles with an overactive and wandering mind. And spiritually, he has always felt that he "is not a spiritual person."

I, on the other hand, am not the healthiest person when it comes to fitness. I am underweight and quite weak. I have scoliosis and mild anemia, and I have quite a sweet tooth. Mentally speaking, I have suffered from both anxiety and depression over the years. However, I have always been hyper spiritual thanks to my upbringing in a very religious and spiritually centered community.

When I began to look at our lives in these terms, I very quickly realized just how unbalanced we actually were as individuals. We realized that if we wanted to be truly healthy and happy on a whole being level, we would need to start making some changes in order to bring these three areas of ourselves into a more proportionate existence.


Seeking a Solution 

When it comes to achieving balance between body, mind, and soul, I am fully convinced that this is a never ending, life time practice. Just like an athlete cannot remain in shape once they stop training for their sport, so too will balance quickly begin to slip away when we stop remembering to strive for it. This doesn't have to be a discouraging fact, though. Both my husband and I have found the active cultivation of balance in our lives to be a fun and challenging endeavor! Not only that, but we have both grown exponentially as people and discovered many new hobbies in life--all in the name of sowing balance.

Below, I will offer a more in depth look at each of the three parts of ourselves, as well as practical ideas for growth in each area.

Additionally, I have found White Trillium Flower Essence to be a supreme ally for those seeking internal balance. This incredible native flower of New York has three leaves and three petals on each flower stalk, mirroring its awesome potential to bring body, mind, and spirit into perfect harmony. This medicine is sweet and gentle, having been lovingly crafted by hand with only a few, very special, wild blooms. Taking a few drops of this elixir before engaging in any of the activities suggested below is sure to compound the effects of your practice.

Click here to view White Trillium Flower Essence on the apothecary site. 

Physical Body (Chemical)

The vast majority of our culture places at least some importance on maintaining physical health beyond just surviving. But what if we started viewing physical wellness as an art form rather than a science? And what if--instead of naming ideals and striving toward very specific manifestations of physical success--we began to nourish our bodies as whole beings?

There is no one standard of beauty, no one perfect body shape, no one flawless fitness routine, no one-size-fits-all nutrition plan, and no miracle cosmetic / skincare product. The key to physical wellness is first and foremost getting to know your own physical likes, wants, and needs.

For some, adding a gym membership or an at-home yoga practice might be the missing piece of the physical puzzle. For others, walking the dog or chasing the kids is more than sufficient.

For my traditionally white, rural folk friends: maybe we need to reexamine where our produce comes from (ie. freezer bag's should be a no-no) and how much dessert we are consuming. For my nutrition fiend friends: perhaps we should rethink all of the packaged, powdered, and meticulously dosed supplements that we are taking and consider adding whole food / whole plant medicine into our shake instead.

Men: How often do you think about the shape and size of your muscles? And how often do you take the time to lotion your skin--the biggest, most noticeable, and more important barrier of the body?

Women: How often to you look at your butt in the mirror and wish it was different? (I'm talking to myself here.) And is that amount in any way proportionate to the amount of time you spend actually nourishing your physical body as a whole?


While the physical side of our tripartite nature might be the one that is most frequently considered in Western culture, there are still so many ways in which our understanding of overall health is falling short. Consider the following questions to reflect on your physical health:

• What types of physical activities do you enjoy and when can you make time to do more of them?
• How often to you make time to care for your skin and hair outside of the shower?
• Where does the food that you eat come from? 
• Are you eating enough whole foods and/or organically grown foods?
• How do you really feel about your physical appearance and where do those feelings / preconceptions come from? 
• Do you take care of your body for your own joy and benefit, or for the eyes and hands of others?
• What medicines and lab created supplements do you take (including a multivitamin) that could be replaced with whole plant / whole food medicine? 
• How many chemical filled cosmetics are you covering your skin and hair with? If the answer is "a lot / all of them" then consider Making the Switch: How to Ditch Chemical Cosmetics. 

Mind / Emotions (Electrical) 

In a world running rampant with the over-sharing of false realities, it is so easy to negatively compare yourself with everyone else. At the same time, how many of us honestly feel like nothing more than a cog in the vast, faceless, nameless machine that is our modern day world. On top of the social media bombardment and the depersonalization of our fracturing communities, the processed food that we eat is replacing our natural gut bacteria with harmful strains that deplete our mental and emotional well-being. Not to mention that sitting indoors all the time is just another nail in the coffin of our mental health. No wonder anxiety, depression, and suicide rates are at an all time high in Western society.

Thankfully, our culture is finally starting to recognize the importance of maintaining personal mental health. Meditating to gain control of an overactive mind is becoming increasingly popular, down time is encouraged, and young people are now taught to seek help when they feel anxious or depressed. These are great steps in the right direction!

But what about those of us who are already adulting and dealing with the negative programming we received as kids? Deprogramming negative patterns in your own psychi can be extremely challenging...but it is a journey that you will never regret.

Consider the following questions to reflect on your mental / emotional health:

• Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Not sure? Take a personality test (like Myers-Briggs) to find out. Knowing the basics of how your brain operates is a crucial first step to cleaning up negative processes that are just weighing you down. 
• If you experience anxiety--what does your anxiety feel like? What does it look like? What does it sound like? What color is it? How does it manifest in your words? Not all anxiety is the same! Understanding where your anxiety comes from and how it manifests are the first steps in developing a healthy, individualized treatment plan. 
• What makes you feel happy? What makes you feel important / valued / useful? (seek out more of this!)
• What situations in your life make you feel less than / unimportant / worthless? (cut it out of your life!)
• Are you getting enough down time? When is the last time you relaxed without your phone or TV? Giving your mind time to decompress and recharge with no technology to distract you is so, so important. Try going outside from time to time and actually looking at the world around you (wink, wink.) It's extremely refreshing for the mental body as well as the soul. 

Spirituality / Soul (Vibrational) 

YOLO is one of those things that makes me inwardly cringe. The idea that "you only live once and therefore you should do whatever you want to serve yourself and your physical body in the now regardless of outside forces or consequences" has become so popular should tell us a lot about our culture in today's America. This mindset totally and completely ignores the spiritual body, which is one third of a human's existence in the now and certainly a much greater percentage in the here after--whatever you believe that may be.

Spiritual health is by far the most ignored part of the mind-body-soul trifecta in Western society. In a world that worships science as the infallible source of all knowledge, the vibrational, intuitive, and unseen are often mocked and brushed aside as foolishness. But there is a reason why spirituality has always existed in human history in one form or another.

For those who were not raised around any form of spirituality, it can be daunting to begin the process of cultivating a healthy soul. My husband used to believe that people were either spiritual or they weren't--nothing in between and no way to cross from one side of that ravine to the other. But with quite a bit of thought and practice, he has come to see things much differently, and the results have been astounding. As he began to strengthen his spiritual body, the overactive troubles of his mental body found some peace.

In other words, as the deficiency in one part of the mind-body-spirit trifecta was built up, balance was restored, and symptoms that had manifested in other parts of his being were significantly improved as a result.

Crystals and herbs offer us tremendous vibrational support (literal medicine for the spiritual body!), meditation and intuitive journaling gives us a window into our own souls, and meeting with like-minded people for worship, discussion, and moral accountability can also be incredibly fortifying.

Photo from La Abeja Herbs

Consider the following questions to reflect on your spiritual health:

• Why are you here on Earth in this time and place? What is your mission? 

• When you think about death--particularly your death--how to you feel and what do you imagine to happen beyond this physical / visible life, if anything? For many, a feeling of extreme uncertainty regarding death (even unconsciously) can lead to mental health problems like anxiety. Exploring your understanding of the unseen world / Otherworld / Spirit world is a good way to begin opening your mind to new vibrations. 

• Have you experienced trauma? Has there been a history of trauma or abuse in your ancestry? If so, seek vibrational healing to release those traumatized pieces of your soul. Carnelian stone is incredibly helpful for releasing stagnant energy, as are Ghost Pipe and Datura Flower Essences. Asia Suler's Ancestral Healing lessons in the infamous "Pussy Portal" have been some of the most profound lessons of soul-level healing that I have experienced in my life thus far. 

• One simple and ultra-effective way to raise your vibrations is to help others! Volunteer. Talk to a struggling friend. Be there for someone in their time of need and truly open yourself to empathize with them. As we sincerely help others, we heal our own souls. 

• Were you raised in a stringent religious background? So was I. There are so many wonderful things that come from the church, but there are also many man-made fallacies and cruelties that come with such a large, organized structure. Instead of running away from your early beliefs, carry them with you as you journey through your healing. Walk with an eye and a heart for reexamination. Seek the Creator wherever and however you can. Seek the Divine near and far. Keep praying even when you don't know what to say--even when what you want to say is harsh and angry. Say it anyway. And someday, by grace, perhaps we will gain a deeper understanding than our forefathers. 

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Although the path to balance is a difficult one, the journey is well worth it! Think of your own path to balance like a work of art rather than a science. Explore the entire color wheel, get your hands dirty, try new mediums, and who knows? You might find your muse in places you never expected.